Baywatch Review – Hammier Than A Sandwich & Just As Delicious


It has been almost 30 years since the phenomenon that was Baywatch graced our TV screens.

With stories so hammy you could supply 20 Christmas Feasts, and slow-motion so slow you wondered how they saved anyone at all, Baywatch was both a serious and not-so-serious affair.

Creating names for all those cast (especially that of Pamela Anderson), and extending the celebrity of David Hasselhoff beyond that of Knight Rider, the popularity of the show guaranteed a reboot in time.

And with said reboot, comes a new cast of names guaranteed to pull people into seats like a rip-tide.

But can the meatball sub that is Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron do enough to make Baywatch a critical success?

Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with brash new recruit, Matt Brody.
As they learn to work togther, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the very future of the Bay.

Yeah, that ‘critical’ success line is a bit of a jab at some of the reviews that have come out. Not because I’m offended by their reviews, but simply because this movie is so obviously taking the piss out of itself.

With an opening scene that somehow seems like a parody of the very movie we’re watching, it continues to do so throughout.

The new cast are fantastic, and it’s best not to know who they play as their reveals produce slow claps with each name dropped (ed. Honestly, the Steph reveal had me screaming “YASSSS”).

Jokes as playful as the new swimsuits the team wear, and so much meta-material that I had to wonder if I was in the film, Baywatch is a fun mindless watch that constantly pokes fun at its predecessor and itself.

Ultimately, the places it unravels itself is in outdated sexism and narrative, but it does its best to pull its head back in by attempting to exploit the men on display (ed. Which in itself is a nice flip on the motives of the original TV series).

Abundantly mindless, Baywatch is the type of Blockbuster where you just go to escape for a little, and those are the types of film I like to mix in after a good run of films heavy on visuals or story.

Because you can’t always take stuff too seriously.

You should try to have a little fun in-between, which is what Baywatch does perfectly.


It is what it is; A hilarious spoof of an incredibly cheesy TV show that lovingly pays homage to it without taking itself seriously.

Now bring me its sequel BAYWATCH NIGHTS, stat!


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