Ugh, it felt gross typing in “2019”.
It’s almost 2020 folks! WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK. But anyway, before we even get to…THAT…we still have to go through Christmas.
Get through?
I don’t know, I suspect that’s what the alcohol and sugar is for.
But as is the annual event, even though I’ve only done it once, it’s time for me to ask all the brands what I should suggest for you to consume over Christmas, after I’ve looked at these products to consume and decided if I like them or not.
That means we won’t see everything CAUSE I DON’T LIKE EVERYTHING. Or do I? I guess we’ll find out.
MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMALS.
The Logitech MX Master 3
Said to be their most advanced Master Series mouse yet, it was designed for creatives and engineered for coders.
I’m neither of those things, but they make bank probably. Actually, I do some design so maybe I should look into this.
Its carefully sculpted shape is comfortable enough for long work days, because in this age of capitalism where work days go past 8 hours, it’s required. It also has ideally placed front/back and gesture buttons plus a new thumb wheel.
Staying powered for up to 70 days on a full charge, with 3 hours of use from a one-minute quick charge, the MX Master 3 is made to last longer than ya mans.
You can pick this up for $158.00 from Mighty Ape.
PlayStation Gold Wireless Headset
“Add some sleek sophistication to your set-up” leads the breakdown for this piece, and I agree; I need sleekness AND sophistication. With an ultra-comfortable design (can support; Owned both Gold AND Platinum headsets. A DREAM.) and dual built-in mics, the Gold Wireless Headset lets you discover how great your games can sound on the PS4 and PSVR.
And how great it is, is THERE’S SOMEONE BEHIND YOU…
You can pick this up for $162.00 from Mighty Ape.
Ultimate Ears Wonderboom 2
“CRANK EVER LOUDER”. That was the lead for this product’s info. I cackled.
The thing is the Ultimate Ears range is actually FANTASTIC. They don’t need to crank nothing. They just need to know they’re a well-regarded brand. And the WONDERBOOM 2 backs this up.
Boasting extra bass AND the new Outdoor Boost feature, which makes it even louder with more powerful audio that’s specially tuned for listening outside, it says “HEY. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?”. Yes, it’s not enough, so thank you for being able to pair 2 WONDERBOOM 2 speakers with the push of a button.
An extended 13-hour battery life and IP67 rating means it’s waterproof, dust-proof and probably not alcohol-proof, cause that will corrode all the metal.
You pick this up for $169.00 at Mighty Ape.
The Star Wars Collection KeepCup
A long time ago in a café far, far away…a simple barista just trying to make her way in the world felt a deep concern for café culture’s waste problem. In 2010 she decided to come back from the dark side of single-use cups and join the reusable rebel cause.
Their name was Princess Leia Organa.
But no, it was Abigail Forsyth, and with KeepCup she’s managed to secure that licensing any brand could hope to secure:
Star Wars.
Celebrating the release of The Rise Of Skywalker next week, the collection is out now to make you feel like the mysterious Baby Yoda you are.
Check out the range here.
Philips EyeComfort Range – Hue White Bulb Starter Kit
Sexy lighting is a must in any house, ESPECIALLY during Christmas, which is the sexiest time of year. So when you’re tired after all that “giving”, the Philip’s EyeComfort LED lighting range is there to have your back.
Apparently scientifically proven to flicker less and lacking any horror-house humming noise, LED lights are easier on the eyes and ears to help you feel more relaxed after all your Christmas shenanigans.
With wireless control available on any supported mobile device, you can choose the perfect setting for any mood (but mostly sexy!).
Read more about it here.
PlayStation Plus 12 Month Subscription
I dead-a$$ wasn’t gonna add this again. I can only hope all you PlayStation owners know what you get with the Plus service, because those 2 free games monthly really are IT.
Oh, and also the online multiplayer support for games that aren’t offering it free of charge.
Anyway, this made the cut because EB Games are giving away GODDAMN SOCKS WITH IT.
SOCKS.
The underrated best Christmas gift of all time. How could I not mention it?
Death Stranding Necklace
I always have to put on one dumb, but awesome present on this list.
And it’s not dumb in the sense that it’s stupid, it’s more the “HAHA, MONEY IS FICTIONAL SO I’LL SPEND IT” kind of mentality behind it.
Made by GILD design, famed for their pursuit of Japan-made quality in every aspect, including manufacture, they capture the essence of Sam’s Q-Pid from the Kojima Productions game Death Stranding.
Unlike the game though, this replica will set you back $325 real-world dollars instead of likes, because the only horror in our world is everything outside and not some paranormal, space-time event that takes place and sends Norman Reedus on an adventure with a fetus.
You can pick it up from the Kojima Store here.
So there you have it! My words that are probably meaningless because I don’t know what your loved ones want!
But hopefully it’s one of those things, making your life that little bit easier.
Cause we all know it’s a bit stressy spaghetti on Christmas day until about 3PM. And then…THEN you can de-stress ever so slightly by tipping yourself a glass from that cool bottle of Legent whiskey.
Okay, that’s the last one, promise.
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